Twitter / atb20

Monday, July 18, 2005

wantingness continued

today i've found that i'm really itching to procreate. now, in general, i knew this. i'd been feeling the baby-wanting-itch since a week after the honeymoon. i know my mom loves the occaisional mention of mil and i creating grandkids at some point in the future, and at times, i've been known to appease her. but today, the itchiness is quite profound. it's funny because just last night i was thinking how good it would be to wait not just the two years until i get a job and mil has a whole summer off to be baby-daddy, but to wait another six years until mil is a resident and brings home a paycheck again. i was thinking how nice it would be for our kids to grow up with the quality of life reminiscent of the manhattan family in the namesake -- btw, i've told mil he needs to read this portion of the book if only to get a sense of what i aspire my life to be (beatnikky, erudite, openly-groping couple in huge, historic brownstone in chelsea with quaint, cozy lakehouse in new hampshire... a girl can dream). it makes sense -- a lot of people have children after 35. this was all well and good until i read the latest post from dr. au this morning. the tickle began...

then i talked to my friend, showgirl (different from shopgirl), who is planning the conception of her second child. she was going into all of the conception planning craziness (basal thermometers, expensive ovulation kits, counting days, etc.) over the phone. informing that by the time i arrive in las vegas in august, she should know. though i wasn't envious of the process, i was envious of the ability to not only want a baby, but be in a place in life where it is realistic to try. the itch was now recognizeable...

the final straw was this post on alas. i mean it doesn't get much cuter than that. i want a baby to draw with me... so, anyway, we are back to the original plan (i say "we" but mil was unaware that there was even a detour -- until now) which is to be a really poor, really busy, but super happy family of three (or four, if you are like me, and count miss iz) sometime in the next couple of years.

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