Twitter / atb20

Tuesday, September 26, 2006


so, i sit here writing cover letters, reviewing my resume, and perusing job listings while listening to the whining drone of honking horns outside my window. is this any way to spend a day off of work? of course not, but having taken a look at our joint bank account recently and the mounting pile of secondary applications (which come with their own secondary application FEES) that mil still has to fill out, i don't have much of a choice.

today basically ended my hope for the recruiter position. they offered me a job, but it was at a lower level than they had discussed earlier, and it included "some administrative tasks." that's pretty much all they needed to say. if there's one thing i know about myself, it's that i'm not cut out for another year of "administrative tasks" (i.e., scheduling someone's meetings, answering their phones, filing their papers... blech). so, it's back to the drawing board. if anyone has any good ideas, i am open.

i'm actually a little relieved. i feel like they gave me permission to say 'no,' and 'no' is probably the right thing for me to say. as hard as i tried, i really couldn't picture myself there, and now i can spend my time trying to figure out where it is that i can picture myself. the tough question is how can i find a place that fits my personality and is still willing to pay me lots of money...

Friday, September 22, 2006

i was going to write about the morality of torture, but i decided to write about knitting instead

i've been hungering for a pair of comfortable, funky wrist warmers for the winter, and i just happened upon this pattern. i'm hoping that i'll be able to make them work with the yummy yarn i have left from my little pinafore project. i'm still eagerly awaiting the day i get a photo of the lmsp donning her aunt's loving work, but no pressure, no pressure...
since tuesday, i've begun to enjoy my less than full schedule. it's amazing how easy it is to go from guilt-ridden to footloose and fancy-free if you just put your mind to it. and put my mind to it, i did. yesterday, i packed my day so full of enriching activity that i had nary a moment to feel guilty for not being at the office. i even spent some quality time in central park attempting to sketch the bucolic scene before me. it didn't work so well. i've learned that i'm much better with a camera and photoshop than a pack of pencils... and i'm okay with that.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

lady of liesure

this is so bizarre. i am home at 11 o'clock on a tuesday morning with "love lettuce" on my face, watching "the view." i don't know what to do with myself. i've done my yoga, had my coffee, showered, and now i have the rest of the day at my disposal. i could lay on my couch all afternoon eating bonbons and reading blogs for all the world cares. you'd think it would be paradise, but the puritan guilt is eating me alive -- i should be looking for a job, i should get some work done, i should be meditating on my future... at the very least i should be finishing up that skirt i started knitting in december... and here i am watching a daytime talk show with my face covered in green slime.

izzy on the other hand loves this. she gets me all to herself for four out of seven days a week. right now she's trying to figure out how she can hobble me by eating off my toenails, so i can't go back to work full-time.
speaking of laziness and caving to the power of mass media. mil and i watched "deal or no deal" for the first time last night. i had heard others remark how intriguing the show was, but i could not buy it... "you mean they just decide whether they want what's in their briefcase or whether they want to make a deal? and that's an hour's worth of television?" and there i was, sucked in, watching this obese teamster from staten island decide whether he wanted $400,000 or what was in the case. it was televised crack, i tell you. realizing how quickly my mind can turn to a puddle of goo is a scary thing...

Friday, September 15, 2006


yeah... i'm sorta being sluggish with the whole blogging thing. i've actually got far more free time than i had over the summer, so it doesn't make all that much sense. except maybe it's that whole laziness begets laziness... and several interviews at the same company has killed my excitement about the whole "new job" thing. and ann richards died... and that just makes me depressed. she and molly ivins were some of the very few reasons i had for be proud of being a texan. well, i've still got molly.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

scar tissue

Originally uploaded by champy1013.

so after five years, i'm still not sure how to make sense of what happened on 9/11. and i definitely don't know how it should be memorialized. it seems to sneak up on you when you least expect it as it did for cartoonsite. one minute you're on the phone with your boss talking about what needs to get done, and the next he says "it's a gloomy day." at first i thought he was talking about the weather... i honestly asked him, "is it raining out?" it took me a beat to remember the date. again this morning i was catching up on my BBC podcast from yesterday as i walked to my 8am interview, and suddenly they're playing sound clips from that morning five years ago. even last night, moments after drifting off to sleep, i awoke standing at the bedroom window screaming "what's happened? what's happened?" just because a firetruck blared its sirens as it sped past our open window. i was still shaking with fear as i returned to bed. i don't know how many times i've done that since 9/11, but i know i never did that before. little things change while the big stuff stays the same -- corrupt politicians, war in lebanon, poverty, torture... it's difficult when i really take the time to remember that day and that week... wondering if life will ever return to normal... if i'll ever feel safe again. in general, i'd rather not. that's why i've kept my distance from the movies and the news reports. i don't need bush or abc to remind me what it was like that day. unfortunately, i remember all too well.

Monday, September 04, 2006

road trip

desert road
Originally uploaded by atb20.

suddenly i feel very stationary. after ten days on the road, stopping in a new town every couple of days, life in the old apartment just seems very predictable. a road trip visiting family and friends (with babies) may not seem like the ideal vacation for most, but after many months of hibernating in the city, a road trip was exactly what we needed. and as much fun as it was to catch up with the west coast relations, it was equally as much fun to sit in our gas guzzling suv rental (we requested a compact, thankyouverymuch, but the rental company only had various shades of gas guzzlers on the lot) with some drive-thru del taco on our laps and coldplay on the stereo. there's a hell of a lot of nothing on the road between las vegas and the bay area, but after being in nyc for so long without a break, "nothing" was a nice break. i'm finding myself a little itchy to get back on the road and go someplace new. there are many gorgeous places in driving distance from the city, but mil has just started school again, so weekend trips will likely be few and far between. in the meantime, i'll have to use my fertile iamgination (and cartoonsite's blog) to transport myself to picturesque new englandy towns.

click here if you're interested in the brief road trip slide show.
on the work front, i finally heard back from the executive recruiting firm while i was in ca. i was glad to know that they hadn't forgotten about me, but at 8am on vacation, i wasn't very coherent. all i know is that they'd like for me to come and start there part-time to see if the job is for me. sounds good, right? i'm already spending the money in my head... $50/mo for tivo/dvr. regular manicures and pedicures. oh, and a trip to hawaii next summer. that's the big one. mil will be getting his ba, and i'll be turning the very ancient 3-0 (ack!), so it seems like an expensive vacation is in order. of course, i'm still awaiting confirmation of the part-time job at this point (while they told me that they want me, they haven't yet told me when and for how much), so i haven't written any checks yet. i'll keep ya posted.