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Monday, June 27, 2005

mmmmonday

in school, i used to think monday hurt. but i think it hurts more now that i'm an adult. i didn't sleep at all last night. i very nearly posted at 3:30am this morning. (can i tell you how hard it is to type when you've netted 3 hours of sleep??) and as those of you who know me, 3:30am doesn't usually exist for moosk. 3:30am is frequently catagorized along with mythical creatures and zombies -- it may exist, but i have yet to see it. i wasn't even pulling an "all-nighter" which i have also never done because my body and brain just give out on me around 12:30am, like it or not. no, last night i went to bed around 11:30, and woke up around 1:30am as if it were 9am. there was no drifting back and forth between dreamworld and reality. i was awake, and i was thinking. now thinking is not good for me because once i start, i can't stop. it starts small: do i have to go to the bathroom? but that will involve waking up... but i think i have to go... but the air conditioning is too cold... i'll wait. it gets more intense from there: oh, crap, i forgot to ask about camps in my group last week and tomorrow i'm meeting with the mom who asked me. i wonder what i should tell her... i could say i forgot, but that would make it seem like i don't really care that her kid won't go to camp. do i really care? i guess it's better to lie. maybe she's already gotten a camp. d*mn that afternoon cup of coffee! after about an hour in this delusional state i start to worry about bigger things: am i pregnant? (as you know from my previous post, this is an ongoing fear for me.) maybe that's why my stomach's all gurgly. maybe that's why i can't sleep. how will i tell my folks? would i have to quit school? is that a bad thing? oh, crap, i've got to pee! it was at this point that i figured it best to turn my attention to my presentation due tuesday and didn't stop working on it until my brain ceased to function.

yeah, it's not pretty. i survived though. the sad part is that this lack of sleep will make it even more difficult for me to get my presentation done tonight. i want to sleep now, and it's only 11am. argh, %^&$in' monday!

anyway, sorry for the barely decipherable post. i will do my best to return to you in better spirits. at least i have my hot n' spicy cheez-its to look forward to...

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