confessions of a rude subway rider

Lawrence West
Originally uploaded by photojunkie.

yep. that's me. that obnoxious woman who pushes past to get a seat on a crowded train. the one who guards her post where she knows the doors will arrive with a fury often reserved for lifeboats. the lady who sighs audibly when you take too long to find your metrocard as you stand in front of the turnstile. the one who said "f*ck" several times when the cops asked to search my bag when i was late to work. the lady who knocked your arm with a stray knitting needle -- several times.

i wasn't always like this. when i first came to new york, i walked a normal gait; i side-stepped oncoming foot traffic; i let everyone else on the subway before i started looking for a seat. something happened though in those ten new york years. it wasn't full-fledged till i started working in times square, but its roots began the first time i rode a subway. i noticed that no one else stepped aside for me. no one kindly offered their chair when they noticed i was lugging several large packages roughly equivalent to my body weight. numerous little injustices built up the rude new york woman i am today. on days when i'm happy and well-rested the old me sometimes peeks her head as i offer a seat to a pregnant woman or choose not slam my bag into the guy who rushes in through the doors before i've had a chance to exit, but she disappears just as soon as she hears a sigh from the woman behind her as she searches for her subway card...