the old me

i'm falling back into the patterns of a non-student. i forgot what had motivated me to start grad school in the first place... the desire to grow a little, learn something new, try on a new hat for a change. now that i'm back out of school i'm rediscovering that familiar longing. i want to try baking again... making elaborate meals just for the fun of it. i also wonder if perhaps i should have taken courses in computer graphics or landscape design while i was still a full-time employee here. as my age creeps higher, i still can't seem to imagine what a dream job would look like. i'm much more the type for a dream hobby. "job" just makes me picture being stuck in an office for hours and hours, days and days, weeks and weeks, until next thing you know your fifty years old and wondering where your life went. hell, i'm 29 years old and wondering where my youth went. wasn't i just that fresh young thing out of college with nary a wrinkle to my brow? how could seven years of adulthood meandered by unnoticed?