the end...

tanzania
Originally uploaded by Isus.

...is not in sight.
**
in day-to-day life, i think i'm a reasonably sane person. for better, or for worse, i tend to be on the boring side of normal. i don't save my navel lint, or talk to myself in public places, or wash my hands 100 times before leaving my apartment. hell, the other day my father asked me what my worst childhood memory was, and all i could come up with was the time he called me "sh*thead." (and that was a joke -- one he'd love to tell you if you're interested.)

that said, when i go to sleep, i turn into a veritable loon. mil and i have had our worst arguments in our sleep... last night was no exception, except i have some memory of what happened. i was dreaming that i was seeing a child who's mother thought he was possessed. she had me watch this video of the kid standing at the top of the stairs saying "redrum" in a really creepy voice (it was a dream, people, so don't fault me for my lack of creativity). in the dream, i was very rational, referring to television programs, etc. that could have caused this kind of behavior, but i was creeped out enough that as i was analyzing this child's behavior i was forcably waking myself up. as i was gaining consciousness, i heard a man's voice talking as if a radio had been left on in the other room. it was hard to make out, and i was trying to figure out where the voice was coming from as i realized that it wasn't a man's talking, but my husband snoring. since i was still in my insane, sleep state, i was convinced that mil was trying to gaslight me -- or more specifically try to make me possessed. i was convinced i was going to start seeing satan's face in the shadows of our room a la "the exorcism of emily rose." fortunately, as the sleep-state faded reason returned, and i offered mil a loving nudge before returning to slumberland.