hearing voices

do any of you have weird biases? things that tick you off or turn you on despite all logic? this afternoon i was reminded that i am easily irritated by high-pitched voices. particularly, the paris-hilton-don't-ask-me-i'm-just-a-silly-girl voice. i've been known to go from all-out crush to "not in a million years" based on tone and timbre alone. i have a hard time maintaining conversations with overly loud voices, dinstinctly feminine speech patterns, or folks who's "s"s cut through a sentence like a knife. i'll run from a room if i hear a girly "woo-oo!" (i almost had to change lanes at a bowling alley once, when we were stationed next to a gaggle of high-pitched squealers.) on the other side of the coin a low-gravelly voice can make me weak in the knees. i'll become friends with a lady just because she's got a kick-ass voice like demi moore. strange, right? makes no sense... i'd love to hear other folks thoughts on this one.

the environment, revisited

purple flower
Originally uploaded by atb20.

in my usual bout of blog-reading, i found this post on obsidian wings. now, personally, i started reading this blog solely because they have an adorable picture of a sniper kitten in their profile. (aww, idn't dat da cutest thang?!) but, i've stuck around for the interesting points of view. i hadn't been keeping track of where congress was with this energy bill, but it sounds like it has bushie's greasy oily little fingerprints all over it. take a look, and if you're as peeved as i am, you can take action here.

btw, i'm on p. 204 of hp6, so give me another couple of days, and i'll be reading everyone's spoilers. it must be good if no one can wait to blog all about it! even people who have just had babies...

that man is talking to a pole

last night as i was walking home, i saw a man talking animatedly to a pole. he was sitting on one of the stanchions in front of the time warner center just conversing with the lamppost as if that's something we all do on occasion. they're good listeners, i imagine. it's amazing after all these years that i still find the crazy new york folk fascinating. hey, better he talks to a lamppost than shouts obscenities at me which is their usual manifestation. i actually chuckled to myself because it reminded me of a book i read as a kid called, that man is talking to his toes. strangely enough, it was about a man who was walking around talking to his toes (which did not seem at all odd to me as a kid -- we talk to people, we talk to pets, why not toes?). it was one of my favorites, along with the wuggie norple story. i mean can you really say "wuggie norple" without cracking a smile? if you're not in hysterics by the time "freckleface chilibean" makes the scene, you must be made of stone.

--
so monday afternoon, i came to the conclusion that i must be allergic to something i'm eating. i'm stuffy all the time, i sneeze constantly, and i feel woozy whenever i stand-up. after some serious internet research, i decided that sugar and complex carbs must be the culprit. well, i said to myself, that means i'll just have to cut down on my sugar and complex carbs. no biggie. i was able to quit sucking my thumb when i was four, i can do this now! anyway, long story short, last night i baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies. and tonight i've got plans to go to serendipity. man, this is going swimmingly!

--
well, i should get back to work, which means that i have to go outside to cash a check. usually i'm all set for a break from my own personal dungeon, but not today. heat index is 110. blech.

big-eyed bird

big-eyed bird
Originally uploaded by atb20.

well, i said i'd give you a photo, and i'm a woman of my word... now back to harry potter

ok, so i really didn't want to know...

turns out my steadily increasing counter was primarily a result of me logging on to check my counter several times a day... so sad, but, yes, i do like my new color scheme. thanks for asking!

i'll try to add some fun photos later, but then again, mil is done with HP6, and that means it's my turn! so, there's really no telling when you'll hear from me next...

in the meantime, ya'll should check out jon stewart's interview with rick santorum if you haven't already. that mr. stewart is has a lot to teach network anchors (ahem, that means you, bill o'reilly). he was a picture of diplomacy... i still salivated to see jon push rick a little further down that "so, you think we should legislate ideals?" track, but then again, i pretty much just salivate for jon stewart in general...

new template

do you like?
i noticed that many blogger blogs were going with the black motif, so i thought i'd update.

no eventful events as of yet today. my brother and sister-in-law are buying a house (or is one supposed to say "an house" -- what is the rule on that one?), and that makes me feel both old and unsuccessful at the same time. yay! i'm happy for them, of course, but my typical sibling "but i want one, too!" feelings come out at times like these. this is what i get for taking the academic route while my much more intelligent brother takes the financially-secure route. this, along with the events of saturday night have led me to a list of things that i would do if i had money. now, this is not a list of things that i would do if i had "a million dollars" or whatever, but a list of things that will be harbingers of success in moosk's eyes. let us begin:

1) i would get waxed -- regularly (meaning, not just before my wedding)
2) i would go out to dinner when i felt like it
3) i would shop at whole foods (and buy my yummy, expensive protein powder!)
4) i would take annual vacations alone with mil (read: not to weddings) to places that require air travel
5) i would treat family and friends to nice dinners on special occasions (so, this is good for you guys, too!)
6) i'd buy people gifts that i really want to give them (and, not just books)
7) i'd get mil a new ipod
8) i'd get manicures every once in a while just because i happen to want one (even though they last about 2 seconds on my impatient hands)
9) and that's about it. just 8 things i have to go without -- not too bad...

this episode contains themes of same-sex marriage. parental discretion is advised.

what the f*ck?!? this is how they introduce, not "the l word," not "queer as folk," but "the simpsons." i'm sorry but what child needs to be defended against the shameful concept of marriage. okay, so it's two women getting married, but back in the seventies, i don't remember them having a warning before "laverne and shirley." two single women living alone together -- scandalous! as depressing as it is to see a warning about "themes of same-sex marriage," i must compliment "the simpsons" for taking on politically-charged topics on a network who's idea of a debate has two right-wing evangelical pundits duking it out over whether alberto gonzales is conservative enough for the supreme court.

--

well, moosk is in shape now. mil and i took one lap around the park yesterday morning, and i can still feel the burn. sad, isn't it? one measly lap. i was good enough to remind him regularly that it was hot out. for example, when i first got outside, i made the astute realization that, gee, "it's hot out here." after rollerblading the one block to the park, i once again noticed that, hmm, "it's still hot." fortunately, i was not one to let such things as, say, hot weather escape my notice once we got into the park either. lucky mil.



we had a late night last night -- an expensive, late night at that. as mentioned before, mil and i have no capacity to say 'no' to a night out with bestman. so when we were emailed about a dinner at a fancy place on restaurant row, mil and i had little choice. we figured we could choose a couple of appetizers or one of the cheaper entrees to share in order to keep to our (very small, student) budget. once we sat down, one of bestman's pals decided that we had to order several appetizers "for the table" and he would not take "we don't want any" for an answer. we were similarly pickled (quite literally) when the three bottles of wine and round of limoncellos were ordered "for the table." what was so pathetic was that even as we broke our own budget for the weekend, we didn't quite cover our share of the tab. it was actually a lovely evening, but it sucks to continuously stress about how much you're spending. i can't wait until we move beyond these student years (all 6 to 10 of them) and are able to live like real adults. in the meantime, i'm going to have to get better at saying "no."

lorded by flies

there's a fly in my office, dear liza. it's been buzzing around my head. it's also been hitting the walls and ceiling making weird static-y noises. it keeps creeping me out because something that small shouldn't be that loud. okay, that's a huge friggin' fly. it just came and sat on my hand as if it were some sort of very small, very disgusting pet. that's so wrong. i just took a photo of it, so you can enjoy as well.


so, last night, my baby left me. he went off to a concert with bestman (who's in town again). i was doing alright on my lonesome, catching up on my big knitting project (finally finished, yay!) and messing around with some new ones. as i started to tidy up, i noticed my old journal from 1999-2000. it chronicled the search for my first apartment in nyc, the starting of a crappy assistant job that i did for much of the year, meeting of several lads that led nowhere, and ultimately the meeting of mil.

(sidenote: i just killed the fly. sad, but i had to do it or i might've become homicidal by evening. sorry, fly. rip.)

anyway, this old journal made me realize why my blog is so boring. nothing particularly dramatic happens when you're reasonably happy with your job and you've found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. i imagine things get more interesting perhaps once you have kiddos, but we're not there yet (as mentioned before). perhaps i'll resurrect some old entries to keep things more interesting around here. are you interested?

coffee addict

Barefoot Cappuccino
Originally uploaded by Bradley Allen.

i used to be able to decide whether or not i'd like to have coffee in the morning. it was up to me. no time... no big deal. no money on me... no worries. i'll have one tomorrow. i've now learned that it's not okay for me not to have coffee. (i know that's a double negative, mom, deal with it.) nevermind the slight headaches that wake me up in the morning, this is serious!

this morning, i was running late to work, nothing new there. i usually make my coffee first thing when i get into the office, but i had an errand to run, and i wanted to get it out of the way before lethargy set in. i went down to the mail room to send out some letters, and the guy who's usually there -- the one that can read my mind -- wasn't around. i had to think. i had to explain what i wanted to this new guy in complete sentences. my brain wasn't prepared for complete sentences. eventually the other guy who i usually talk to came by to help. phew. the only problem was that he wanted to be friendly and say things like "how are you?" and i respond with nonsense like "yes, and you?" didn't my blank stare indicate clearly enough that my brain hadn't kicked into gear yet? you can't expect coherent conversations from someone at 10:30am! when she hasn't had her coffee!

anyway, i'm not going to do anything about this addiction. i like coffee too much, and so far it hasn't hurt my relationship, right mil? and i've still got my job... so it isn't that bad. just give me my morning coffee and no one gets hurt.

first flickr post

mil looking pensive
Originally uploaded by atb20.

i'm making an attempt to post through flickr which would reduce the number of steps i have to use to blog w/ pics. then again, blogger is now allowing direct photo links which is pretty easy, too. i guess i'll figure it out as i go...

i picked this one because mil just looks so damn cute in it. he was making fun of a photo that was used by some "actor" in a high school theatre program. funny. i should make it my desktop...

so, i've realized that i don't really like to be bored at work. i would much prefer to have tons of stuff to do, so that my day flies by before i even notice it. i find that i'm even more tired and lazy after a slow day of work than after a busy one. strange, eh?

so, not to much on the blogs today. mil hasn't updated since last friday, and i'm officially tired of reading about "guidos" on clublife, and the female lawyer thing is also seeming a bit self-indulgent lately. both are decent writers (far better than me, for sure), but i guess like most blogs, they get repetitive after a while. the only blog -- excepting friends, partners, etc. -- i haven't grown tired of so far is dooce.com. she's got a knack for the platform. i guess after four years you start to get it down. sad that i've been reading so many blogs that i'm turning into a critic. i would love to check out others, so if you have any recommendations, please feel free to drop them in the comments section. then again, would you be here if you had anything better to read?

also, i'm making a formal request to all friends who check-out my blog to start your own. give me something to read on these slow summer days... please!

it's bring-your-bird-to-work day!

yes, miss iz is here with me. keeping me company, distracting me from work. she's very good at that.


you'll be happy to hear that after watching my secret addiction, "nanny 911," last night, i am temporarily over my 28-year itch. you have to admit though, those alas photos were pretty d*mn cute.

have you noticed that i can't type d*mn without the asterisk? strange for an agnostic, right? it's the little evangelical christian in me. when i was about 7 or 8 a friend of mine told me that i would go to hell after i said "oh my god" once. i was scared stiff after that. i went home and asked my mom if i would really go to hell just for saying "oh my god," and she wasn't sure, but she said that she was sent to the principle's office for saying "gwarshdingit" when she was a kid, so you never really know. perhaps that's the source of my secret fear of typing out the word d*mn. i'm also afraid that the newest version of the partriot act will have me sent to jail if i type out the "a" in d*mn, so i'm getting into practice.

i've been a bit post-happy lately, haven't i? i don't know what's gotten into me. maybe it's the fact that i don't have much to do this week as i await word from my boss that we'll start this big mri scanning study someday very soon. i'm sure you'll hear more from me in the not too distant future.

but this'll cost you about $12 mil.

fortunately, i got in long enough to take pictures for free.

you can see this for free

is this worth a $325 bottle of greygoose?

wantingness continued

today i've found that i'm really itching to procreate. now, in general, i knew this. i'd been feeling the baby-wanting-itch since a week after the honeymoon. i know my mom loves the occaisional mention of mil and i creating grandkids at some point in the future, and at times, i've been known to appease her. but today, the itchiness is quite profound. it's funny because just last night i was thinking how good it would be to wait not just the two years until i get a job and mil has a whole summer off to be baby-daddy, but to wait another six years until mil is a resident and brings home a paycheck again. i was thinking how nice it would be for our kids to grow up with the quality of life reminiscent of the manhattan family in the namesake -- btw, i've told mil he needs to read this portion of the book if only to get a sense of what i aspire my life to be (beatnikky, erudite, openly-groping couple in huge, historic brownstone in chelsea with quaint, cozy lakehouse in new hampshire... a girl can dream). it makes sense -- a lot of people have children after 35. this was all well and good until i read the latest post from dr. au this morning. the tickle began...

then i talked to my friend, showgirl (different from shopgirl), who is planning the conception of her second child. she was going into all of the conception planning craziness (basal thermometers, expensive ovulation kits, counting days, etc.) over the phone. informing that by the time i arrive in las vegas in august, she should know. though i wasn't envious of the process, i was envious of the ability to not only want a baby, but be in a place in life where it is realistic to try. the itch was now recognizeable...

the final straw was this post on alas. i mean it doesn't get much cuter than that. i want a baby to draw with me... so, anyway, we are back to the original plan (i say "we" but mil was unaware that there was even a detour -- until now) which is to be a really poor, really busy, but super happy family of three (or four, if you are like me, and count miss iz) sometime in the next couple of years.

i survived

so this weekend was the famed shower/bachelorette party. ok, "famed" only because i mentioned it before... all i can say is that i survived. these things wear me out. i got up at 8am saturday morning to get ready to meet my mom and a couple of the other bridesmaids for the trek up to ct. i knew it was going to be an interesting day when one of the bridesmaids called me up at 8:45 saying that she's still looking for a parking space (we weren't supposed to meet until 9:30). turned out it was a wise warning because she didn't find a spot until 9:20, and it was on the other side of the city. she had to take a cab to meet us... (this is why i don't own a car.) anyway, the shower went pretty smoothly. i injured myself putting together the rehearsal bouquet (for those unfamiliar with this tradition, this is when one of the lucky bridesmaids takes all of the bows and flowers from the shower gifts and puts them together on a plate to make a fake bouquet for the wedding rehearsal -- fun, right!?!). the only other problem was that the shower theme was pretty lame: rock around the clock. which meant that you had to bring a gift that fits into a certain time of the day. mine was 12-5pm. hmm... mil and i thought it would be fun to get a little pink bowling-bag style purse and fill it with a little shopping journal/silly wallet/keychain, etc. all with a funky vintage pink theme. since the bride loves to shop, it seemed like a logical 12-5 gift. well, everyone else got fancy registry gifts that had nothing to do with the retarded rock-around-the-clock theme. this is all well-and-good, but it made my silly pink bowling bag look like a lame, cheapo gift. this experience made the whole opening-up-gifts-in-front-of-people-to-show-off-how-much-was-spent seem even more disgusting and shallow than i initially thought. yuck. fortunately, my mom was there as well and showed everyone else up by getting this beautiful antique handkerchief with shopgirl's initial on it and a shadowbox with her wedding invitation beautifully displayed. so there, all you materialistic snobs. (ok, that makes me no better than them, but i love having a mom with such great taste. it gives me something to aspire to... when i have money, that is.)

after the adult-y shower, we were pampered by shopgirl's awesome mom who set up a mini-spa in her home complete with take-home spa kits and a massage. this helped us gear-up for the long night ahead. we shuttled down to the west village in style thanks to the limo shopgirl's mom ordered for us. we checked-in to the swanky hotel we booked for the occasion and met shopgirl's other friends at the (very crowded, very post-hip) bar on the roof. i was quickly reminded of why i don't frequent such establishments when the bill came, and we found our bottle of greygoose to be $325 ($40 at a local liquor store). fortunately, there were 11 of us, so the individual damage wasn't too bad. we went on to a little bar in the east village with a cabaret license. despite being on "the list" it took us about 10 minutes to get in (9.5 minutes longer than most of us were willing to wait). it was almost worth the pain when one of the bridesmaids (who shall remain nameless) proved just how ripped she was by shaking her tail in front of just about everything that moved. it was actually hysterical from my somewhat sober perspective. it was less hysterical when we went on to the karaoke place and she proceeded to scream "papa don't preach" along with shopgirl. i felt so sorry for the innocent bystanders who didn't know what they were getting into when they paid the $3 cover. here's a suitably anonymous pic of the two. i will spare you the shot of yours truly belting "rio" with another bridesmaid.

anyway, point is, i made it. it's monday morning, and i'm still a bit sleepy and cranky, but that's what i get for signing up for the bridesmaid gig. for those of you who haven't had the experience, be sure to think through all of the ramifications when you say "yes" to being a bridesmaid -- bridesmaid dress, shoes, shower, and, most importantly, bachelorette party. they come as a package deal.

finally, a question: do eight and a half souvenirs still exist? i have one of their songs stuck in my head thanks to a post on dooce.com...

politics as usual

as you may have noticed, though i generally use this forum for personal stories and musings, i occasionally reveal my rather left-wing political opinions. this post will continue in that vein.

last night after finishing our netflix fare for the evening (motorcycle diaries), mil flipped over to pbs (i think it was pbs anyway). there was a program discussing global warming. apparently only 60% of americans think that global warming exists. 60%?!?! now the program cast this as a relatively large number, but i think it's pretty pathetic given that 100% of biologists think (one might say "know" in this case) global warming exists. what's even more frightening is that only 40% of americans think that global warming is an urgent problem. wait... you're telling me that it's not a problem that the temperature of the earth increases a few degrees every year? that species are going extinct because of our waste? that the earth that our children and our children's children experience may not be hospitable to human life is not important???

let me posit a theory as to why such a ridiculously large number of americans think that global warming is not a problem -- and may not even exist: the bush administration has told them it doesn't exist and it's not a problem. take for instance this article from bloomberg columnist, margaret carlson. or rush limbaugh's diatribe in 2002: "i don't believe there is any conclusive evidence of global warming, and i certainly don't believe that it can be attributed to human activity – and particularly not by activity by the united states. that is the political agenda behind the global warming scare. It is an anti-west, anti-U.S., anti-free enterprise movement." (i recognize that rush ain't in the administration, but he's been the voice of the bush "base" since his first presidential campaign) he also seems to be echoing bush's statement in the 2000 debates that scientists are unsure about global warming. i'm not sure what scientist he went to who wasn't sure about global warming. perhaps he went to a scientologist instead of a scientist -- similar in bush-speak. or perhaps he consulted the un-erring senator frist. i don't think any scientist who actually studies the enviroment has referred to a global warming "debate."

what i think is most paradoxical is that many evangelical republicans refer to theirs as a "culture of life." i'm sorry, but trying to save a woman who's been in a coma for 15 years and embryos and fetuses who are not independently viable means nothing when the planet we call home will be toast (literally) in a matter of a few generations. this kind of mentality is so vile and self-serving to me i can't even comprehend it. for those who don't know because they haven't been told (read: the fox news audience), i feel pity, but it's time to educate these people and move on to embracing international strategies (such as the kyoto treaty) that will minimize the negative impact of human waste. for those that do know -- and here i refer to the bush administration and the fox news producers -- and refuse to act, i have nothing but contempt. i am thoroughly impressed with those evangelicals who've recognized global warming as a christian issue. it is. it is a human issue, a moral issue, and a personal issue. i just wish that we could shuttle off those doubters and nay-sayers to another (warmer) planet, so those of us who give a d*mn can start working toward a better future for our decendants.

phew... sorry for the long post. i just had this bottled-up since last night. another interesting political read is krugman's column in the times today about rove and the new american politics. i think krugman is onto something here, but he has a tendency to overstate the issue which takes something away from a very serious message. i'd be eager for a political discussion here, but it seems that most visitors prefer to remain silent.

anyway, those are my thoughts for today. next time, i'm sure it will be a lighter topic.

i should be knitting

sometime monday evening, i decided that i needed to knit a baby hat for my pregnant supervisor (let's call her pregnant-hippy-chick -- because that just rolls off the keyboard). i don't particularly like my supervisor, and i don't plan to see her ever again after today, so i'm not sure exactly why sprouted this decision, but nevertheless, i sidelined my endless afghan (which was supposed to be done by last weekend as a gift for my parents) and found what remains of my soft, cotton baby yarn.



i was going to finish this small project last night when i got an email from a drinking buddy announcing that one of our good friends (and mil's best man) is in town from baton rouge and up for a reunion at the new o'lunneys. knowing that i (and especially mil) wouldn't be able to pass up the opportunity to hang with bestman, i figured i'd furiously clack needles at every possibly opportunity today, given that i'll be seeing pregnant-hippy-chick for the last time in approximately 2 hours. anyway, here i am typing...

so, apparently, three is about two too many drinks for ole moosk. i don't know how i'm going to fare at this bachelorette party. i "woke-up" this morning with a pounding headache. i didn't actually start perceiving the world around my until after my first cup of coffee. apparently, you are supposed to take advil right before you go to bed when you've had more than one mixed beverage, but mil decided not to tell me this until this morning after hearing me complain for about an hour. fun. i'm getting better though. the coffee helped.

i'm usually one of those people who slowly sips one glass of wine throughout dinner. even my parents think there's something wrong with me. i think my brother just took all of the drinking genes when he joined that fraternity in tennessee. at one point (only a drink and a half into the evening), my friend, crimson, came to meet us, and i had totally forgotten that i'd invited her only an hour and a half earlier. that's how bad it was. and i kept drinking... and here i am... at work. blech.

turning into my mother

that's it. the process is nearing completion. i now not only cringe when people use "i" as an object (e.g., "send that to mil and i when you get it in."), but i check for typos and misspellings when i read other people's blogs. this would be all well and good if my blog were grammatical perfection, but perfection it is not. it is also bad when i repeatedly do this -- out loud -- every time i read mil's blog. he's going to start hiding his blog from me. he's already taken to speaking spanish half of the time which moosk no comprende.

anyway, i apologize for the sappy post yesterday, but i gotta give "mad props" to my man who not only puts up with me, but makes me think he's having a good time doing it.

first anniversary

well, it's been a few days... mil and i took off for a long weekend to newport for our first anniversary. hope you didn't miss me too much.



to belatedly honor my honey, i am offering 10 things i love about mil (for the faint of heart -- or those who just don't feel the need to know, you can skip to the end of this post):

10) he's got a cute tush

9) he likes to fold laundry

8) he makes dinner for me when i'm tired and hungry

7) he puts up with my bird (who thinks he's competition)

6) he acts goofy to make me laugh when i'm in a bad mood

5) he calls when he is coming home late

4) he's got a full head of luscious brown hair

3) he lets me paint our windows

2) he's learning how to play golf just to please my dad (apparently, he also "likes" it if there is such a thing)

1) he gives a d*mn good hug

i could go on and on, but i imagine 10 is plenty for those of you who aren't mil.

the highlight of the trip to newport was staying at this cute bnb.


when we got there we were greeted by small coterie of historical actors -- george washington, general lafayette, and general rochambeau. i briefly thought the melville house had a welcoming committee, but apparently july 8th was the 225th anniversary of rochambeau's landing in newport. hmm... and therefore a historical reenactment was necessary. this is what we caught:


we also got to drive this cute little convertable. i apologize to those of you on rte 95 this weekend. it was dangerous out there with moosk on the loose! it's truly amazing that car rental companies will even rent to me -- but they do! heehee!


anyway, it's dinnertime. more to come...